I have always longed to love you. I remember our first encounter like it was yesterday…your big, strong arms of protection shielded me from the darkness and the shadows of memory, and you shattered my heart with gladness and song.
I came into this world much like everyone else–not through any choices of my own. I came into this world an empty vessel: a child searching, and what I found is indescribable!
When I was 9 years old… I met you before that but was too naive to realize just who you were and what you would mean to my life… I loved you then. When my grandmother inherited me–the lost child overwhelmed by the pains of an abusive and unstable home–it was your arms that gladly welcomed me and your voice that whispered healing to my soul…
In a world defined by schisms, you presented yourself to me and told me that I was good enough.
In a world of hierarchy, bias, and institutional chaos and oppression, you opened yourself to me.
In a world that is more concerned with process than progress, you took my hand and guided me to a new understanding.
In a world consumed with gain, you saved me from myself and showed me the true meaning of generosity.
The greatest lesson you have taught me over the years is that I am yours and that I belong to no one and nothing else. Your love and power gave me the strength to defeat my demons and to continuously overcome them. Your love looked at all my broken pieces and saw a masterpiece in the making. You never required more or less than what I have to give.
As I look at my life, and all the time that has passed between us, I am reminded of the first time I heard those words…”I love you.” I now know that I am yours and I will forever be. You have placed my feet upon a solid foundation and you have established my path. Your words have been etched onto my heart and I am forever mindful of the power that your love has given me.
I reflect back to the little child, scared, confused and battered, and I remember how your love healed me and gave me new life. I remember life as I approached adulthood with all my baggage and idiosyncrasies, and you showed me another way to be. Throughout all the major decisions of life, your guiding presence is always with me.
With every encounter and each interaction, I feel you, and have always been assured of your love. When others betray me, when systems and structures fail, when plans change and people become fickle, you are there and your love is magnified.
I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ—for it IS the power of God that brings salvation. And when I speak of salvation, I speak of the times when I become increasingly more aware of your divine presence within me. Your love fills me and assures me of an expected end. I know that no matter who challenges me or what may come against me, your love will always prevail and give me the strength I need to endure any test or trial.
There are those who doubt and there are those who have yet to experience love like this; but I will bless the name of God at all times and will offer praise for this love always—no matter who is watching, questioning, judging, or attempting… Because you ARE love. No matter what it looks like and no matter how it seems, your love has always been the fountain inside my soul from which all hope springs forth. I know without a shadow of doubt that you and your love will continually reign.
There is no force greater—in heaven or on earth—that can offer matchless grace, security, assurance, and freedom. And while the systems of this world struggle against nature and your divine order for all things, you have shown me the presence of true, lasting, unconditional love…and for that, I am forever yours and will always be assured of my place at the throne of your everlasting peace.
Like David, I am a man seeking after your heart and I hope that this love that fills my being will flow through me and offer light to all those who desire something other than darkness.
It feels so good to be loved by you…Praise BE to God! <3