In my family, it is usually other women who make tamales. Older women who know what they’re doing and don’t need silly things like recipes. But this year, my aunt Evelyn was sick with COVID as were so many people around the world. So there was grief mingled with a little bit of joy at … Continue reading Being an Anti-Racist is Like Learning to Cook
White people love to think of ourselves as Nice. This is especially true of a certain brand of white people, many of us middle class and hailing from the Midwest. We pat ourselves on the back with pride for being [Your State Here] Nice. Where I grew up, in a state that is about 94% … Continue reading Protests Are Not Supposed to be “Nice and Quiet”
Responding to racism is hard. It’s palm sweaty, stomach churning, awkward silence, tempers flaring work. And for white allies, who have not spent their entire lives responding to racism, most of us are new to this work and we don’t always get it right. Whether it is a racist uncle telling a shitty joke at … Continue reading White Allies Need to Start Planning for Racism
What’s a “daddy cult”? When progressives hear the word “patriarchy,” they might think of systemic misogyny in politics and business. When I hear that word, I think of the religious framework that kept me and my six younger siblings trapped in our own home. A “daddy cult” is a nuclear-family-sized cult designed and enforced by … Continue reading I Survived a Rural Evangelical Daddy Cult
We need to give greater weight to and be careful about the names we use to describe cultural groups. Research now shows that receiving a name is a form of “social tagging,” as every name comes with associated expectations regarding characteristics, behaviors, and even a stereotypical “look” within a culture. In other words, what you … Continue reading If You Are Not Sure of My Race…It’s Okay to Ask
In the last week, many people have been kind to ask how I’m doing, and I don’t have a simple answer. Here’s a first attempt to unpack that.